This is so important. I stopped drinking when I got pregnant with my first daughter 3.5 years ago. Since then I've only had one or, maximum, two drinks when we have people over, etc. I don't miss it at all. Or, if we're being honest, I did, until an old friend came to stay with us for a couple of days. I went to a bar with her, for the first time in 2 years I left the house after my children's bedtime and went out for a drink. I still couldn't drink much, In case my 6 month old decided to do a night time waking. And I told my friend that it's been so long since I did this.

She was shook - going out and drinking is a big part of her life. I just said, there are seasons in life, and I'm not in a season where drinking or going out is a part of my life. Maybe one day they will be again, but it's not going to be soon.

She felt sorry for me, thinking how shackled I must feel with my young kids. But I don't at all. I realised I can go out if I want to, I just don't. We have guests for dinner quite often which fills that social cup, and a lot of our friends also don't drink for various reasons.

The next morning I woke up with the children at 6:30 am, tidied the kitchen, made pancakes, had a lovely coffee watching the sunrise.... her and my fiancé stayed up drinking together, they both emerged around midday totally hungover. That's when I realised what a gift sobriety is. Not just for physical health, but for mental health. I never want to miss a sunrise because of alcohol ever again.

Expand full comment

Such an important topic, Tobias--especially in this season as we have learned so much about addiction while supporting our son in his recovery. It’s easy to go from social drinker to casual to habitual--I’ve found myself there in the past for sure. The case you make for not drinking is strong. It’s important to ask, “Is my relationship with alcohol keeping me from living my best life?”

Expand full comment