Know Thyself: Lessons from Antiquity to Modernity

From Sun Tzu to Carnegie - Wisdom is Eternal

Know Thyself is widely understood to be one of the most important and difficult to accomplish maxims. The expression is largely attributed to the Ancient Greeks, but this aphorism has been used in other ancient texts as well. One of those is from Chinese antiquity, from one of my favorite texts: The Art of War by Sun Tzu. The teaching goes:

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

Sun Tzu’s interpretation outlines a very key distinction in the pursuit of self-mastery. To truly understand yourself is to also understand others. A singular pursuit of knowing oneself without the context of those around you will lead to some success, but also failure. Inversely, focusing all your efforts on others and not looking inward will also lead to bad outcomes. And of course, knowing neither yourself nor those around you will lead to consistent hardship.

In the context of my own personal and professional life, this has been (and will always be) a work in progress. When I started my first corporate gig out of college, I was a fresh faced 22 year old without much understanding of myself or those around me. What I did understand was I wanted to be respected and successful. Like many early career professionals, that was about it. The next 10 years of my career would be a succession of experiences that helped me understand myself and those around me. Here are 3 lessons that helped me on the path:

1. Seek first to understand, then to be understood - Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

This principle from Covey has resonated with me the most over the years. Like all masterful frameworks and deep human insight, it’s simple at its core. When confronted with an idea, debate, problem or any circumstance that requires a certain level of introspection & subsequent action - do your best to understand the unique makeup of the situation before blindly expressing an opinion. Try hard not to be the loudest voice in the room. We’ve all experienced it - the loudest people on the Zoom call, consistently speaking over one another, offering little but their own ego to the conversation. Be comfortable being the quiet one at times. Understand as best you can, then proceed accordingly. 

2. To be interest-ing, be interest-ed - Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People 

Taking interest in the endeavors of others, combined with a healthy pursuit of passions, hobbies, reading, etc. will allow you to understand yourself better and will teach you novel ideas and concepts. Those pursuits will also empower you to be more interesting to others. So much apathy, self loathing and depression is rooted in an unshakeable inability to go out and do something truly meaningful. That meaning can start with just a walk outside. 

At my very worst depressive episodes there was a very common theme - I wasn’t doing anything. I worked, I drank with friends, I sat on my ass and scrolled social media and repeated the cycle. There are no excuses if you have an Internet connection. Whenever I make the conscious choice to find genuine interest in other people or ideas, it teaches me about myself. Find something or someone that strikes even the most delicate chord inside you… then follow that note.

3. You are not your mind - Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now

Much has been said in recent times on the power of a present mind - being not in the past or the future, but wholly present in the moment. Allow yourself the room to understand you are not the manifestation of those uncomfortable thoughts in your head. While this is by far the most philosophical of the 3 lessons, it might be the most important and nuanced. This isn’t to say you should ignore the thoughts and feelings that come in and out of your head. Or that you should try to forget that painful experience from days, weeks or years ago. The practice of mindfulness is recognizing the emotion, but not letting it control you.

In Emotional Agility, Susan David explains the recognition/understanding of emotions is foundational to a healthier existence & denial of those emotions is not sustainable. 

“Emotional Agility means having any number of troubling thoughts or emotions and still managing to act in a way that aligns with your values.” 

Like everything, balance is key. If anger, love, frustration, envy, or lust enter your mind, you should recognize that emotion, but do not let it wholly define you and your behavior. Don’t tell yourself it’s wrong. Don’t try to push it away. Remember, another will come right along.

In many ways we are taught (poorly) both as children and adults that certain emotions like anger or rage should not be allowed. But who honestly does not become angry at times? Who doesn’t feel the temptation of spiteful rage towards an adversary or problem? Instead of dealing with our uncomfortable emotions in a healthy way and redirecting that energy, we are told to sit quietly and think on our sins. This is wrong.

Without going too deep into all of society’s problems, I would say this practice has led to much of the crisis of meaning we see today. How can you live a true, wholesome life when you are actively suppressing your own thoughts and feelings? 

I am better now than I was yesterday, and that’s always the goal. Tomorrow will bring more lessons & more emotions to help teach me about myself and others. I hope you enjoyed this, and you found some meaning.